Contemplating, confused and mixed thoughts (personal post!)

My sister told me last night she’s found our dad’s side of the family on Facebook. -long story short haven’t exactly seen or spoken to my dad in 5 years, he pretty much walked out on us when I was 4 and my sister was 6, but saw him now and then.

He only gives me pocket money that’s our only contact, and he’s stopping that in July and basically told me he’s cutting me off.

We found out in 2010 he’d been lying to us and had been seeing a woman behind our backs. My sister found his partner on FB and 8 years later they’re not married and don’t have kids! Not to be rude, she’s quite large and has many mental problems, more “severe”/different to depression. She can’t have kids either.

I thought cutting me off was hurtful, he’d obviously got a new family with new kids replacing us. But he hasn’t?!

I’m so confused! Should I be more hurt that he now had NO reason to leave us? Should I be pleased?

He CHOSE to walk out on us. For the last 5 years he’s CHOSEN to be with a larger woman who can’t have kids than me, my sister and my mum?

Not expecting advice as I can’t explain the full situation. But just needed to vent.

Yesterday was the worst day in a long while and today I had an email about a contact to help me get a job, and now this?!

I’m so confused. Such mixed feelings…


“How would you spend your last day if you knew you had only one more to live?”

Well, there’s this guy I love. So, I don’t know how, but I’d do everything I could to find him and tell him. And tell him about the tv series I’ve written etc. 

Also, there’s two celebrities I’d LOVE to meet. So, in one day? I might not be able to meet them. But I’d at least try, or try and tell them how they inspired me so much. 

As well, I’d try and sort things out with my dad…

And tell my family and friends how much they mean to me.

What about you? Tell me in the comments below, or write a post and tag me in it!

So, let’s fight our way through this misty fog… Until my next blog!

– M